Slow Living & The Pressure of Society on Relationships

***Warning I wrote this post after a few glasses of wine…so it’s extra sassy.

There’s quite a pressure from society that you have to be engaged or “find the one” by the time you’re in your early/mid-20s and that’s just wrong. I’m at that uncomfortable age of 22 where half my friends are engaged (including myself) and the other half are convinced they’re going to die alone. You might be sitting at your computer screen chuckling, but I’m not kidding. Some of my closest friends literally think they’re going to die alone and it breaks my heart that these strong, independent women are beat down because of this pressure society creates that we need to have our “other half.” That you, yourself, are not enough.

Let me start by saying anywhere in your 20s is still very young. And wherever you are in the journey of love, single, in a relationship, exploring, it’s OKAY to slow down. Take your time, find yourself because I truly believe you have to love yourself before you can even start finding your significant other. Enjoy being young, enjoy being single, enjoy the relationship you’re in, and wait to find the person who loves & respects you. And whatever you do don’t let society pressure you into thinking you’re wrong because you’re not in a serious relationship or engaged. Let me tell you it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be because then people will just start pressuring you to get your wedding in check.

It’s funny because Jake & I dated for about five years before getting engaged and people started asking us ALL the time, “When are you going to get engaged?” Then right after we got engaged it changed to “When is the wedding?” One of the main things I’ve noticed about being engaged is everyone is in such a rush to know WHEN. When is the wedding? Where are you getting married? A long engagement?…That’s a mistake? Literally multiple people said this to me. PSA to people: SLOW DOWN. It’s our wedding and it’s OKAY if we want to enjoy being engaged, living together in a new city, and focus on things other than wedding planning. Jake & I have chosen to have a long engagement of probably a year and a half….no, we still haven’t set a date. And yes, we’ve been engaged about five months yet. And that’s okay. We chose to have a long engagement for a bunch of reasons and it’s honestly not something I should have to explain...but here we are.

  1. We moved across country three months ago. Literally from TX to WA. We’re still trying to get settled and adjusted.

  2. Jake started a new job and I’m trying to run a business. Do you know how much work it is to run a business? Wedding planning is also a full time job. I don’t have time to focus on it right now because of my business and THATS OKAY. God forbid a future bride have other priorities.

  3. This is a learning experience for me. I’m exploring the wedding industry. Yes, I’ll be blogging about it too. If you follow The Honest Consumer you know my values are important in everything I do including consumption. I live, eat, & breathe consciously. I’m trying to have a sustainable, thoughtful wedding. And so far from the minimal looking I’ve been doing the wedding industry is a hot mess. Since when did we need to spend so much money to celebrate love?

When we started looking at rings, I wanted to make sure my ring encompassed my values. I took the extra time (literally months) to do some research, spoke with some founders, and finally settled on MiaDonna due to their ethical, sustainable, & give back practices. That’s the thing, I slowed down. I evaluated my values and what I wanted to ring to stand for before we made the hefty purchase. So….if it took me months to find a ring that matched my values….wedding planning is going to take a while.

So I’m figuring this thoughtful wedding thing out. It’s a journey just like love is a journey and it’s okay to take your time. Practice slow living. Practice reflecting and meaningful actions, consumerism, surroundings, and having purposeful people in your circle. Our society is so focused on things happening NOW and instantaneity in not only consumerism, but love, success, and just about everything else. Don’t be afraid to be the odd one out. Slow down. As the beloved Drake says, you only live once. So why rush it? Slow living is something I think everyone should strive to do more of. It can be hard, but simply start by reflecting. Why are you doing thing? Is it for your own happiness? Pressure of society? Someone else’s happiness? Slow down, be in the present, and consider what makes you happy without the added pressures of society.

And to the next person who asks me when the date is? You’ve got an earful coming for ya. I suggest you wait until I tell you when the date is or refer to this post.