Once again I find myself struggling. Struggling to get out of bed. Struggling with school. Just having a hard time.
As I've said before school is a trigger for me. Right now is a difficult time with finals around the corner. I'm REALLY close to failing this one class. This is the last class I need to complete my minor. The structure of the class does not work for me. Our only grades are three tests. I'm not the best test taker.
I passed the first test by six points and the grace of God. But the second one is this week.
I've been trying to study, but I'm lost in class and the text is so dense it's hard to understand. I've been working with classmates and feel that I understand the material at times, but when I try to do the problems on my own I'm lost again. I've been preparing for this test for about two weeks now and still feel clueless. This weekend I had planned to study hard! But my anxiety had other plans. I couldn't sleep. I kept waking up feeling like someone had placed bricks on my chest. I felt the shortness of breath and the tightness in my chest. And then the next day I was exhausted and unproductive. So here I am Sunday night...I haven't done anything to review. I had a really hard time getting out of bed. I feel incredibly discouraged. Defeated. And the worst part is I know tonight and tomorrow will probably be the same. Sleepless and stressful.